What Is “Parts Work” in Therapy and How Can It Help Me?
By a Parts Work and Trauma therapist in Denver, CO.
“Parts Work” is a term in the therapy world that describes several different therapy techniques, interventions, and styles that all have a similar foundation. Parts Work is based on recent and ongoing neuroscience research about how our complex personalities are developed. While it can certainly get technical, we can often start to identify parts of ourselves quite easily.
You have many different roles in your life! Perhaps you’re a partner, a friend, an adult child of your parents, a sibling, a parent, an employee, a business owner, a pet owner, a colleague, a supervisor. You might behave slightly differently in each of those roles, or maybe different facets of you come out more than others, depending on the role of the moment. All of these can be considered Parts in therapy.
So why might you want to work with these Parts in therapy? Well, many of us can intuitively realize that some of our Parts are pretty functional and authentic. Maybe you feel like your true self when you’re with your closest friend, for example. But often, not all of our Parts feel equally healthy. Maybe some of your worst patterns come out in arguments with your partner, or perhaps you feel totally odd, almost regressed, when you’re at your mom’s house for the holidays. The thing is- these aren’t just random observations! There are real, neurological connections between these Parts, and sometimes they really do need healing in order for you to be the person you truly want to be.
Different Ways to Think About Parts
I mentioned the idea of Parts as the different roles you take on in life, which is a pretty relationship-oriented way to think about them. But this is just one way to think about Parts! Similar to the “roles” idea, you can also think about more Parts based on your interests. Maybe you’re a musician, an artist, an athlete, a writer. Those can be Parts too. Your identities are also really important to consider when naming the Parts that you uniquely have. Your ethnicity, race, gender, sexual orientation, spirituality, age and generation, cultural identity, and other unique identities can also be Parts. When you think about Parts in this way, therapy can focus on patterns and behaviors in certain roles that are healthy, vs. patterns and behaviors in other roles that aren’t necessarily healthy or that you want to change.
There are a couple other ways to think about Parts. I personally think all of them are valid, rather than one being more right than the others. Whatever makes the most sense to you is likely what will be the most effective for you in therapy.
1) The IFS Model
Another way of thinking about Parts is through the Internal Family Systems model (IFS). IFS has a few standard words for various Parts. At the core is the Self: who you truly are. The Self is always complete and whole, but for many of us, a lot of other parts can get in the way of the Self.
One group of these parts are the Manager. These are parts that tend to jump in and be protective. They’re the parts that *seem* to have their shit together, who show up in settings where you need to look professional or adult. Often, their goal is to protect you from getting hurt. An example of a Manager part is a perfectionistic part who wants to make sure you don’t get in trouble for making mistakes.
The next group of parts are called Exiles. The exile parts are often in pain, experiencing shame, fear, or trauma. Most of the time, the exiles can be traced back to childhood. The reason they’re called Exiles is because both the Manager and the Firefighters (the third group) don’t want to experience their pain, and therefore try to “exile” them from our consciousness.
So, to the third group: the Firefighters. When Exiles try to come to the surface and demand some attention, the Firefighters jump in to distract the Exiles from feeling all that pain. This can come in the form of subtle behaviors like working too much, or more impulsive like drinking, substance use, sex not aligned with the person’s typical values, and others.
2) The PAC Model
The PAC Model is another way to think about parts. PAC stands for “Parent-Adult-Child.” This way of thinking about parts focuses on the idea of attachment. When we’re children, our personality is split up into this little pie chart with equal thirds: the Free Child, who has needs, expresses them, and calms when they’re met (like an infant); the Curious Child, who wants to explore the world and learn new things; and the Adaptive Child, who learns how to survive in their environment at home.
When the child has parents or guardians who are safe, loving, and balance discipline with nurture, the child can grow up with these 3 parts staying in balance. As that child becomes an adult, there is now an Inner Child and an Inner Parent. The Inner Child takes on the pie chart balance that the real child once had. And the Inner Parent tends to reflect the same nurture/discipline balance as the child’s real parents. In the ideal situation, that means the adult has a healthy Inner Child who feels loved and safe, and healthy Inner Parents who helps the adult make wise decisions without being too self-critical.
For many of us, the ideal isn’t quite the reality. If the parents/guardians don’t always have a healthy balance of discipline and nurture, it could result in them being heavy-handed on criticism, or neglectful when it comes to nurture, or some other combination. And that shifts the balance of the pie chart in the child. Now, the Free Child gets a little smaller, because their needs aren’t always met. The Curious Child gets a little smaller, because curiosity and exploration aren’t necessarily encouraged or welcomed. And the Adaptive Child gets bigger, because kids always figure out how to survive, even in difficult environments.
This results in that child becoming an adult whose Inner Child and Inner Parent are also off balance. Their Inner Parent is now likely more critical or neglectful, just like the real parent. This can result in traits like a strong sense of shame or perfectionism that mimic what the parent did. And the Inner Child also feels unhealed, because that Curious Child and Free Child didn’t get to grow and develop the way they should have. The PAC model would say that when you notice yourself having really strong “out of the blue” reactions it is likely one of the Inner Child parts who didn’t get the chance to heal and integrate with the rest of the Adult Self. This can result in identifying Parts of yourself at different ages of your life, such as the “young child,” the elementary school child,” the “teenager,” etc. who each show up at different times.
If you’re interested in this model, this book is an excellent resource!
How We Can Use Parts Work In Therapy: Insights From A Parts Work Therapist in Denver
Now that you’re a little more familiar with the concept of Parts, let’s talk about how knowing this can actually be helpful! Parts Work can support you in a variety of ways in therapy.
You can understand your own reactions better.
By starting to make connections between reactions you have that you’d like to change and your Parts, you can start to get a lot more insight into your own behavior and where it’s coming from! For example, therapy helped me learn that a lot of my perfectionism and difficulty accepting constructive feedback without excessive shame was very much connected to expectations placed on me in childhood. That’s Parts Work!
With that insight, you can start healing and integrating your Parts.
Parts Work doesn’t stop at knowing what your Parts are. The goal is usually to help these parts integrate into a whole, healthy, authentic Self. An integrated Self can handle difficult family moments at the Thanksgiving dinner table, when before a younger Part might have reacted very differently. An integrated Self can address conflict with their partner from a place of respect and understanding, when before a Part might have been seriously triggered and overreacted as a result. These results are often what we start therapy to help solve in the first place.
Parts Work Helps with Self-Compassion.
Over and over again, I see Parts Work support clients (and myself!) with self-compassion. As we start to recognize connections between our Parts, we can also understand them better. We can see how they were hurt and why they do what they do. We can give them the love they need. And we can be empowered to bring them healing, which is a really beautiful thing.
Is There Such Thing as Parts Work Therapy for Trauma? How About Parts Work Therapy for Anxiety?
Yes and yes! Parts Work Therapy is truly a terrific model of therapy for any and all mental health struggles. At CZ Therapy Group, our Denver therapists are trained to bring parts work into all of the work that we do. We tend to find that parts work is most beneficial for clients experiencing trauma, severe anxiety, and low self-esteem. More specifically, Parts Work Therapy can be an incredible tool for adults who experienced childhood abuse/neglect. Check out one of our previous blogs on childhood neglect from emotionally unavailable caregivers to learn more!
Start Parts Work Therapy in Denver, CO.
If you’re interested in Parts Work Therapy and are located in Denver, our therapists at CZ Therapy Group would love to support you! We specialize in incorporating parts work into all of our therapy modalities, including therapy for trauma, anxiety, depression, and body image.
Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consult call to see if parts work trauma therapy is right for you
Connect with the CZTG trauma therapist of your choice via a phone consult.
Begin your healing journey with parts work trauma therapy!