Exploring Trauma Therapy in Denver? Defining “Big T” and “Little T” Trauma with a Denver Trauma Therapist
By Jordan Kurtz, MA, LPCC, Denver Trauma Therapist
Toxic Silver-Lining
The decision to come to therapy is simple for some and difficult for others. Influencing factors are not limited to: how our specific cultures appraises mental health- geographic, familial, and cultural, our trust in “professionals”, and what pains us. If we were taught or modeled as we were raised to “Be a man”, “Put away your tears until I give you something to cry about” or experienced perpetual mistreatment, neglect, abuse, or conditional parent acceptance as a norm, we may not believe we even have the right to ask for help.
Therapists recognize that each individual’s threshold for pain differs, and how we cope with that pain differs too. However, the therapists at CZ Therapy Group have a consensus that no matter what degree or type of pain you have experienced or are experiencing, healing together is beneficial.
Something I have noticed in practice- and within myself! – due in part to our capitalistic, busy-body culture is the habit of toxic silver-lining.
What do I mean by this? Most of us are familiar with the phrase, “There’s always a silver lining”. I.e. Within an unpleasant or undesirable situation, there are hidden advantages, positives or opportunities to grow.
Part of human resilience is our ability to shift our perspective, and finding the silver lining is a tool to do so. However, it can become consequential when it impacts our ability to take rightful ownership of what has hurt us.
The following thoughts or statements are often emblematic of toxic silver-lining:
“It could have been worse”
“Someone out there has it harder than me”
“At least I made it out”
“It was tough but I wasn’t physically harmed”
“My parents/friends/partner had this happen to them”
The common theme expressed is, “My pain is lesser than someone else’s and therefore what right do I have to grieve about it or acknowledge it impacted me?” Again, perspective taking can be adaptive. It is harmful when we minimize our pain and cannot or do not allow it to come into the open to be examined with curiosity, kindness, and a non-shaming other.
Big T and Little T Trauma
Whether we have experienced “Big T” or “Little T” trauma, toxic silver-lining is one primary barrier to entering therapy or merely opening up about our pain with others. Perhaps we have learned over the years that talking about our pain results in others silencing us, avoidance, denial, accusation, belittlement, punishment, or mockery. If we have received those responses, we often respond by making our pain and associated sadness, anger, fear, etc smaller and invisible or a chip on our shoulder- Yeah this happened, so what?
Part of the healing process at CZ Therapy Group involves experiencing new, affirming responses to your pain. Therapists here will encourage you to share your unfiltered narrative about the experience(s) and affirm how it made you feel with no expectations- in fact, your therapist aspires to feel and hold the pain and impact with you so it does not feel as daunting, foreign, or incomprehensible.
Okay, so what actually counts as “trauma”?
In one of our recent blogs on EMDR therapy we debrief trauma from a physiological perspective. For the purpose of today, we will break down trauma into “Big T” and “Little T” trauma to provide examples of the scope of harm that merits therapeutic healing.
The simple definition of trauma is an event or series of events that cause psychological, emotional, and/or physical distress. The primary difference between Big T and Little T trauma is the nature of the distressing event.
In Big T trauma, the distressing event includes exposure to or threatening of death or injury or sexual violence.
Small T trauma involves events that induce distress but do not threaten our survival.
Is the distinction between them very important? Not necessarily. Trauma of any scope impacts our view of self, the world, and others and is accompanied by behavioral responses that reflect attempts to keep ourselves safe. As Dr. Barbara Nosal- Chief Clinical Officer of the Newport Institute names, “It doesn’t really matter whether that experience of disconnection was objectively significant or not. What matters is how it was internalized by the [person]”. If we re-define trauma as experiences of pain, fear, disconnection, or threat that have altered our capacity to function in the world with a sense of control and peace, we are able to legitimize our wounds more readily.
Trauma Therapy in Denver, CO.
The Denver trauma therapists at CZ Therapy Group specialize in working with many types of trauma and trauma-related symptoms, including:
Sexual abuse
Physical abuse
Emotional abuse and neglect
Eating disorders
Addiction
Chronic illness
Depression and anxiety
Bullying and/or rejection
Grief- family member, intimate partner, pet
Loss of a job
Birth trauma
Religious trauma/abuse
Want to learn more about working with a Denver trauma therapist?
No matter the type of trauma you have experienced, our trauma therapists treat your opinion, emotions and thoughts with unconditional curiosity, compassion and empathy. Follow these three steps to connect with a trauma therapist at CZ Therapy Group and begin reclamation of your authentic self:
Schedule a free 20-minute consult call to see if trauma therapy in Denver is right for you.
Connect with the CZTG trauma therapist of your choice via a phone consult.
Begin your healing journey!
Meet The Writer: Jordan Kurtz, EMDR Therapist in Denver, CO
Jordan Kurtz (she/her) is a trauma and relationship therapist at CZTG who focuses on therapy for grief, trauma, adolescence, and couples. Jordan is authentic, warm, and affirming of her clients’ identities and experiences.
Like what you’re reading so far? Be sure to explore more of Jordan’s posts, including her recent blog on using Denver EMDR therapy to break the cycle of self-fulfilling prophecies.